The Problem Many Christians have with being Merciful

In an effort to be fully transparent, I will admit that I struggle with being merciful. Not like I struggle to not say a curse word in front of my students, but the way I wriggle, writhe, squirm, and then, finally exhausted, with one last exhale, button the pants that are still one and a half sizes too small.  I want to fit in them, but the reality is that I can't.  And, even when I think I can...the button pops. I try to be merciful, but I fail over and over and over again.

How Legalism Affects Mercy

I know for myself, my struggle is rooted in a deeply seated legalism instilled in me at a young age.  I grew up believing that anyone who called themselves a Christian had to abide by a specific set of rules that made them more pleasing to God and that anyone who did not abide by those rules was not pleasing to God. This belief is unbiblical, but I was too young to know that at the time.  Without my even knowing it, this belief shaped my concept of mercy.  I believe that many people raised in the strict legalistic doctrines present in many Christian denominations during the mid to late 1900's continue to struggle with being merciful as well.

Legalism places values on certain behaviors. In my experience, many Christians from legalistic backgrounds tend to have only two categories of behaviors, good or right and bad or wrong.  Although many of the behaviors are addressed directly in scripture and Christians are encouraged to adhere to certain behaviors and avoid others in both the Old and New Testament, it is the purpose for their obedience to the rules that they misunderstand. They believe that God blesses, or rewards, good behaviors and punishes bad behaviors.  There are many reasons that this doctrine is so prevalent and these reasons need their own series of posts to discuss. Nonetheless, this doctrine leaves them living in a constant state of judging themselves and others while feeling like they are being judged by others and by God.

Legalism leaves very little room for mercy. If everything is either right or wrong and worthy of either reward or punishment, then all behavior is under scrutiny.  It becomes harder and harder to distance a behavior from the person who does it. When I listen to the words of people struggling with legalism, I often hear them say outright or strongly imply that people doing the wrong things are bad people. What a judgment to place on a person. When that judgment is made, it becomes terribly easy to play God, and say that a bad person is not worthy of help, compassion, honor, respect, or anything related to the idea of mercy.

If you need help imagining a person who thinks this way, consider most Trump supporters. Many profess to be Christians, but their comments and political values seem to want to punish through policies and laws anyone who doesn't think or behave in a way that mirrors themselves.   In some ways, they are only living out what they believe.  God blesses the righteous and punishes the unrighteous.

The trouble is...

Romans 3:10-12 tells us (referring to all people),
10 as it is written:
“None is righteous, no, not one;
11     no one understands;
    no one seeks for God.
12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
    no one does good,
    not even one.”

Understanding Mercy

In all my reading and studying I have found that mercy is a very challenging concept to define.  Stop and ask yourself what mercy means.  More importantly, ask yourself how it is different from grace.

Many Christians may find it easier to define grace than mercy.

Grace is a gift or blessing given to someone who does nothing to deserve it. Grace is not based on worthiness or merit.  It's something for nothing. Free and without judgment.

Matthew 5:45 New International Version (NIV) 

45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Mercy seems similar; however, upon consideration, seems a much more remarkable thing. Mercy is an of grace by its very definition. Mercy means not being penalized for something which you have been deemed guilty. Not punished...when punishment is deserved.

Psalm 51:1-2 New International Version (NIV) 

Psalm 51[a]
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

Mercy is an idea, it can not, on its own be seen, felt, heard, or otherwise experienced.  Mercy remains an idea unless it is expressed by someone. A merciful heart will be obvious. Mercy is evident in the way a person thinks about others, speaks about others, invests in others, treats others, and makes decisions that affect others.

Expressing Mercy Requires Seeing Yourself

In human terms, mercy is acknowledging another's sinful state and choosing not to pass judgment, offering forgiveness if needed, and meeting their needs right where they are. You do not have to agree with another person's beliefs, choices, lifestyle, political party or anything else to be merciful to them. For many people, it is difficult to show mercy unless they have experienced it first hand.  For Christians, it may be especially difficult because we tend to blinded to our own need for mercy and the way mercy has actually been shown to us.

For the legalistic Christian (including myself, although I consider myself being reformed), this requires that we lay aside our ideas of ourselves. Lay aside the notion that we have it all together, that we sin less, that we are somehow better than the rest of humanity, and that we don't really need God's mercy because we really aren't that bad anyway.

One of the general complaints about Christians is that we are self-righteous, thinking we are better than everyone else, including other believers.  That complaint is well-founded.  Who wouldn't think they are better than everyone else when you have been raised to believe that God only blesses the good and you feel pretty blessed. (If your life is better than most that may have more to do with your ranking on the American privilege scale than God's blessings. Another topic that deserves its own set of posts.)

But every Christian needs to look in their mirror on a daily basis.  (I'm admonishing myself as well.) See beyond all the laws you keep, both biblical and civil. See beyond the whitewashed tomb that hides your heart from the eyes of the world. Know that none of your goodness is the reason for your salvation. You didn't earn it, nor could you, ever. It is a gift offered to you (grace). Through that gift, God shows his mercy to you by forgiving you for your sins. Every single one. Every judgmental glance. Every desire to withhold something good from someone because you think they don't deserve it. Every scornful thought. Every time you've wanted to get even. Every single time you've scoffed at the single mother, panhandler, cursing teen, addict, welfare recipient, tattooed biker, illegal immigrant, rude cashier, politician, impatient driver, your own family, anyone.  You are not a good person. You have sinned and are deserving of hell.  Yet, you have asked for and been given forgiveness and this makes you a recipient of God's mercy.  You no longer are required to pay the penalty.  This is what every Christian needs to remind themselves every day.  In this way, we all can learn to extend mercy.

Luke 6:36-42 New International Version (NIV) 

36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Getting out of the American Christian Mindset

Here in America, Christians have it pretty easy. Although they complain that the rights of Christians are being infringed upon at every turn, no believer here is being imprisoned or killed for their beliefs. Our marginalized groups are much more likely to suffer abuse, misuse, violence, and be killed than are Christians.  Consider the Christians in China, the Middle East, parts of Eastern Europe, and Vietnam - these believers are monitored, attacked, imprisoned, tortured, and sometimes killed.  Yet, in these countries, the believers still reach out to, care for, and love the very community of people that may turn on them.  That is mercy.

From the very foundation of our American experiment, there has been a belief that our country is somehow more pleasing to God and more blessed than other countries because the men that professed to be Christians were instrumental in its creation.  I'm not sure the planned eradication of Native Americans and kidnapping and slavery of Africans were pleasing to God.  Add to that Japanese internment, segregation, wall street banking, slum lords, unfair taxation, police profiling, starvation wages, discrimination, and the list goes on.

Warning: the following paragraph will offend some of you. But these are words I have heard out of the mouths of Christians during my life time.

This country has a mantra that has been conflated into scripture.  God helps those who help themselves.  I hope every reader knows that this is not a bible verse, nor is it supported in scripture. Still, many Christians believe this country has done right by most people, and those that haven't gotten in on the blessing didn't deserve it anyway.  They say:  The addict should know better. The hungry, fearful child should just try harder in school.  The black man should just apply for better-paying jobs. If those people don't like where they live they should just move.  If someone wants better for themselves they should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  Poor people should make better choices. She shouldn't have worn that skimpy dress. They should've gotten married before she had that baby.

The belief that God requires anyone to try to be better by themselves leads down a heretical rabbit hole.  Scripture validates, again and again, that people can't better themselves.  Some just hide their faults better than others.  Money, privilege, and religious talk hide a multitude of sins.

The good news is:

Romans 5:7-9English Standard Version (ESV)

7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

You Can't Fake Mercy
Christians need to remove the attitudes and misconceptions about God and themselves that bind their hands and feet. For the Christian, mercy is not an option.  It is something they need as well as what they need to give to everyone else. Showing mercy is the real opportunity for a Christian to reflect God.  Mercy is not the way of the world and shows out like a light in the darkness. Mercy given to others validates their worth, their uniqueness, their right to exist, their connection to us as human beings made in God's image.

Mercy can't be given as a token to a child or a platitude to a disinterested audience.  It starts in the heart of the Christian and drives them to their knees in repentance and thanksgiving.  It is real compassion that sees beyond anything but the need that exists and forces the merciful to be vulnerable and selfless. Mercy's presence allows the Christian to follow the greatest commandment without fear of loving the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

Matthew 2: 36-40 (NIV) 

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Why is mercy so hard for Christians?  We are prideful people who love to hide our weaknesses from ourselves and others. We deceive ourselves about how we deceive ourselves about our own sin.We fake a goodness that the world can sometimes see right through. But, we can't fake mercy. To be merciful means to see our own failures and needs and let that spur us to love others regardless of their failures and needs.  And that reality is more uncomfortable than a tight fitting pair of pants.